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Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It allows individuals to navigate social complexities, manage relationships, communicate effectively, empathize with others, and defuse conflict.

The concept involves skills such as empathy and self-awareness. Emotional intelligence is therefore crucial in various aspects of life, including relationships, communication, and overall well-being, and developing it means being aware of our own emotions and how they can impact personal and professional interactions, helping us discern between different feelings, and using this emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.

It may seem complicated at first, but maybe you know the concept by another name: common sense. You know, things that you should or should not do in order to be civil.

Common sense refers to the sound judgment and practical knowledge that is shared by a society or community. It encompasses a sensible and rational approach to everyday situations, allowing individuals to make reasonable decisions based on their understanding of the world. It is often considered to be a blend of experience, intuition, and logical reasoning, providing a practical guide for navigating various aspects of life.

Ultimately, it is a collectively constructed concept, while emotional intelligence refers more directly to individual behavior, and perhaps this is precisely where the heart of the matter lies. As the collective has been somewhat undervalued lately, common sense needed a rebrand to avoid disappearing completely, and voilà, the twin brother emotional intelligence enters the field.

I do not know if it was a lack of common sense or emotional intelligence that led a woman to stand in the middle of a richly designed colorful salt carpet. I do not know if it was a lack of common sense or emotional intelligence that led a woman to stand in the middle of a richly designed colourful salt carpet during the last Corpus Christi festival.

In the festivities of Corpus Christi holds great significance. It is a tradition where intricate carpets are created using coloured salt, sawdust, flowers, and other natural materials. The salt carpet symbolizes the path that Jesus took during the procession of Corpus Christi. It also reflects the devotion and unity of the community in preparing for this important religious event, creating a beautiful and ephemeral (the are undone by the end of the day) display of faith and artistry.

For me, personally, it is a family day out, where you can walk along the main avenue of the city, closed for carpet making. Perhaps because it touches emotional memories so dear to me, the sight of that woman moving her hair while taking a selfie on the carpet, without caring about all the work it cost those involved in maintaining this tradition seemed outrageous to me.

I immediately started shouting in her direction: “Hey, my friend, you can’t stay there, you’re ruining the design of the rug.”

She did not leave and continued taking selfies with her cell phone. “Hey, you!”, I repeated, now waving my arms. She continued ignoring me. I was losing my Holy War. I needed support. I addressed the other people watching the carpets: “Guys, help me, she’s not listening to me!”, poiting to the lady on the carpet.

Some people approached and soon a small crowd was clapping and shouting: “Get off the carpet! Get off the carpet!” Continuing to pretend not to hear, the woman finally put the phone away and left the carpet, moving away from the crowd that was booing her.

Later, at home, I recalled the case and thought that the woman lacked emotional ineligence. She could have done much better with a simple: “Sorry, guys” and, in a more refined spirit, she could even have ended with “Happy holidays to you too” or something similar. It would be what you call a classy getaway.

I thought about how that woman should solve the problems that everyday life presents to her. Does she pretend not to notice the challenges that life offers her? Could it be that the solution to situations that she does not know how to deal with is to simply pretend that she does not realize the problem? Is she not familiar with the transformative power that a sincere apology has?

I felt a little sorry for her and I hope with all my heart that she finds a way to develop her conflict resolution skills. Or get used to a few boos along the way.

Be seeing you!

G.F.

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Dix pour Cent (“Call My Agent”, in the English version) is a French sitcom released in 2015 that revolves around the lives of talent agents working at a Parisian agency. The plot focuses on the professional and personal challenges they face while representing a diverse array of clients in the entertainment industry.

Throughout its four seasons, the show portrays the intricacies of deal-making, client relations, and the glamorous, yet demanding, world of show business. The first season ends with the following sentence, said by senior agent Arlettte Azémar, played by actress Liliane Rovère:

“When things are not going well, there will always be the cinema“

I really like this phrase, and whenever necessary, I resort to its variant:

When things are not going well, there will always be the music.

For me, this is not just a catchphrase, but rather a profound belief that serves as a key to open the door to a refuge that welcomes me when things are going wrong and the world seems like an incomprehensible place.

It is as if the music becomes a soothing companion, providing solace and understanding when the challenges of life feel overwhelming. Far from being an exclusive privilege of music, this healing element is present in all arts.

I am sure that different forms of art have already provided comfort in challenging situations in your life, just as they have in mine, but I would guess that most times you did not realize that they were the ones doing the trick, crediting you well-being feeling to external factors (the place, the company etc), instead of ralizing the magic was happening in you.

I mena, you do not need to be a painter, or a dancer, or a filmmaker to feel the same way about Painting, Dance or Cinema. Just find a form of expression that is dear to you and enjoy it.

Whether producing or consuming art mindfully, by focusing on the comforting and healing aspects of it, you unlock healing companions, who can be very helpful in seeking refuge and emotional relief. In times of difficulty, it is important to intentionally make space for art to manifest itself as a source of comfort in our lives.

The transformative impact of art during challenging moments comes from its power of providing emotional support and, sometimes, that is all we need.

One way to do this is by setting aside dedicated time for creative activities. It does not have have to be much, it can be minutes or hours, you will find out what works best for you.

Whether it is writing, painting, playing an instrument or simply listening to that song you like (and if you suddenly feel ike dancing to it, even better). Creating a designated space for artistic expression can also help, as it signals to the mind that this is a priority. It can be as simple as choosing a nice place to read a book.

Actively seeking out and immersing yourself in art forms can provide a sense of comfort when the world is being mean to us. It is all about recognizing the value of art in providing emotional nourishment and intentionally incorporating it into your daily life. Every simple gesture counts.

When everything goes wrong, the arts always remain, as a healing source that never runs out.

Be seeing you!

G.F.

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In the seventeenth episode of the fourth season of the sitcom Sex and The City, acclaimed actress Candice Bergen made her first appearance as the character Enid Frick, the Vogue editor of Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker).

Enid is not easy to get along with and criticizes Carrie frequently, but when the editor insinuates that Carrie does not know anything about shoes, the protagonist responds with a very witty phrase, half snobbish, half wise: “Men I may not know, but shoes… shoes I know!”

I remembered the scene this week when I went to a beauty salon. It was my turn there, but I had been following the social media of the place for some time and thought it served what I needed: trimming the ends of my hair.

Some context: I cannot remember a time when I actually enjoyed going to beauty salons. It probably has to do with the fact that, in general, I do not leave the place looking amazing, as with many women do. Why? I have no idea, but maybe it is because trendy cutting and finishing styles (straightening, drying with a diffuser, etc.) do not usually give good results on my hair. In the end, I always return to my good, old homemade way of doing things, and that is how I really like it.

In practice, this means that I have extensive and lengthy experience with my hair and have a good idea of what damages or improves its appearance. I am not a professional in the field, and I probably would not know how to give good advice about anyone’s hair. But when it comes to my locks, I am like Carrie Bradshaw to Enid: I know my hair.

So, when a hairdresser, after talking about himself for 20 minutes and not even touching my hair, starts listing a list of things I can or cannot do, I tend to perceive it as a bad start.There is no point in trying to cover up the fact that there is no hot water in the taps, with the false advice that warm water (not hot, just not cold) will be extremely harmful to me, because I will notice.

There is no point in swearing to me that your way of styling is unique, and in the end just clogging my head with styling cream, especially if it is a low-quality one. I might be going through a low-budget phase (who hasn’t?), but my nose still knows how to differentiate between a good cosmetic and an imitation. You see, the hairdresser was not bad, only too, let us say, pretentious.

After I got home, washed it, and styled my hai my way, I gotta admit I actually liked the cut. The only issue is having to play the whole “influencer game,” you know, having to accept something just because the person has tons of followers on social media. That is what happened with this professional. I mean, the social media of the place was on point, most posts had lots of likes and amazing reviews, and they never hinted that reality was any less glamorous (trust me, washing your head with super cold water is anything but glamorous).

When it comes to taste, contrary to what people say, there is a lot to discuss, debate and inform. Perhaps people would change their opinion about many products and services if they had the chance to use them, intead of only getting the opinion from the so-called influencers. A good way to value services and products is to learn about their costs of production in terms of work, skills involved, preparation time and execution.

The coolest experiences have always been the ones we live on our own, but I’ve noticed that we’re letting the algorithms of the platforms take over too much of this power, hardly ever stepping out of our bubbles where everything similar to our thoughts is right and everything different is wrong.

What bothers me most about algorithm culture is that it does not matter who you are or what you do: the important thing is to constantly brag about yourself, your achievements and your overwhelming qualities. How can we blame the hairdresser who would not stop talking about himself, if doctors, musicians, lawyers, students, travelers, in short, everyone is there, on the internet doing the same?

Following the manual exhaustively repeated in the thousand and one tutorials on how to sell anything and everything we turned all the “experiences” in our lives in sales pitches. We create empathy, we cite examples that prove our social validation, we primisse to solve the pain of our customer, we follow the journey of the hero… we read the whole script.

Maybe part of our collective anxiety comes from the feeling that we need to “close a sale” at all times, whatever that “sale” may be, from a cosmetic treatment, a service, a new relationship, a new single. This constant pressure to achieve a successful outcome in every situation can create a sense of unease and perpetual striving.

It is as if we are constantly on the lookout for potential opportunities to “seal the deal” in various aspects of our lives, whether it is through personal improvement, professional advancement, or social interactions. This mindset can lead to constant stress and the belief that we must always be in a state of negotiation with ourselves and others.

One potential solution to reduce the impact of algorithm culture on personal decision-making and self-worth is to prioritize self-awareness and mindfulness. By consciously reflecting on our values, goals, and genuine desires, we can make decisions based on internal authenticity rather than external pressures.

Cultivating a diverse range of offline experiences and real-world connections that are not governed by algorithmic recommendations also helps, for it allows fae-to-face interactions, unburdened by the constant pursuit of digital validatio.

By prioritizing genuine experiences over external validations, we reclaim our autonomy and self-worth, recognizing that true value lies in meaningful connections and personal fulfillment rather than in the metrics of algorithmic approval.

Advertising is good, but what really keeps customers is good merchandise, good stuff. And good suff, darling, good stuff I know.

Be seeing you!

G.F.

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Waiting rooms used to be true oases for reading. Arranged on coffee tables or piled on baskets in the corner of the room, it was always possible to find some type of reading offered to the patient. The choice was vast: from old magazines, information leaflets and even, in some cases, comic books. I have used all of these items at some point of my life, but my favorite way to wait for my turn at a doctor or dentist appointment has always been to use a book brought from home.

At the moment, I am reading the fourth volume of In Search of Lost Time, by Marcel Proust in a big, heavy edition and every time I leave the house I think about whether or not it is really worth carrying it in my bag. That day I had an appointment with a doctor who usually has a full office, so I thought it would be worth carrying the extra weight to catch up on my reading. It did not take long for me to realize I was wrong

Firstly, I reached into my bag to pick up the heavy volume. The weight of it was somehow comforting – a physical reminder of the vast, intricate world that awaited me within its pages, but I soon realized that the serene reading experience I craved could no longer be replicated and the reason was quite simple:smartphones. They turned reading in the waiting room into a journey of its own, amidst people frantically sending and receiving text messages (without bothering to turn off the sound of the keys first) and audio messages. Headphones? Of course not! Afteral, why bother?

The naturalization of the lack of education represented by the neurotic way in which people interact with their smartphones seems to me to be a gigantic loss of civilization and this is also reflected in the way common spaces (such as office waiting rooms) are divided. It often feels as though individuals are making a concerted effort to ignore one another, further emphasizing the disconnection and alienation that permeate modern social interactions.

In the fast-paced and technologically driven world we live in, it is becoming increasingly common to observe individuals engrossed in their own digital worlds, often at the expense of meaningful face-to-face interactions. The pervasiveness of technology in our daily lives has undoubtedly revolutionized the way we communicate and connect, yet it has also led to a noticeable shift in how we interact with one another.

The allure of constant connectivity through social media, messaging apps, and digital entertainment has created a paradoxical situation where we are simultaneously more connected and yet more disconnected than ever before. This begs the question: How can we bridge the gap between the virtual and the real, fostering genuine human connections while navigating the influence of technology on our shared spaces?

The overuse of technology in everyday life has indeed sparked a debate that often draws parallels to nostalgia, portrayed as an idyllic yearning for an “analogous paradise” of the past. While it is undeniable that technology has brought about numerous positive impacts, it is equally undeniable that it has led to the loss of certain elements, including the decline of small reading retreats.

This shift in our lifestyles has prompted reflections on the trade-offs involved in our increasing reliance on technology and the potential consequences for facets of life that were once cherished, such as quality, silent time.

By disregarding the importance of silence in our lives, we avoid experiencing moments of introspection, which are fundamental to the human psyche. For those who work with the arts, the loss is even greater, as every creation goes through a moment of introspective observation and needs silence to flourish.

Silence provides a sanctuary for the mind to wander freely, making room for creative thoughts to germinate and grow. It is within the tranquil embrace of silence that artists find the inspiration to breathe life into their creations, crafting symphonies, paintings, and prose with unparalleled depth and emotion.

In the absence of silence, the frantic noise of the world drowns out the delicate whispers of creativity, stifling its evolution and robbing it of its true potential. Therefore, embracing silence is not merely a choice, but a necessity for those who seek to nurture the boundless expanse of their artistic expression.

For the human spirit, silence serves as a haven amidst the bustling cacophony of life, offering a moment of respite, reflection, and restoration. It is in these silent interludes that we decipher the intricate complexities of our existence, finding solace in the tranquil whispers of our innermost thoughts.

In essence, silence is not the absence of sound, but rather the presence of infinite possibilities waiting to be explored and unraveled. It is the canvas upon which the human soul paints its most profound revelations and unveils the truth that lies at the core of our being, paving the way for self-discovery. An experience that no app can provide.

Be seeing you!

G.F.

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Francisco de Morais Alves, better known as Francisco Alves, Chico Alves or Chico Viola (Rio de Janeiro, August 19, 1898 — Pindamonhangaba, September 27, 1952) is considered one of the greatest, most popular and versatile Brazilian singers. Nicknamed “King of the Voice” by radio host César Ladeira, Alves is a decisive figure in the construction of several popular genres of Brazilian music in the first half of the 20th century.

In addition to his vocal competence and appeal to the public, Francisco Alves also had a reputation for having a good eye for discovering songs that would be new hits. In this sense, he was considered infallible by his colleagues. However, the “infallible” man made a mistake, at least once, when choosing his repertoire and, ironically, he failed to choose for himself a theme that is usually present in lists of the most beautiful sambas of all time.

“Agora É Cinza” (“Only Ashes Now’, in a free translation), was first offered by the composer duo Bide and Marçal to the singer Mário Reis, along with another composition by the duo, the samba “Vivo Sonhando”. Mário wanted to do a kindness to his colleague, of whom he was a deep admirer. Well, the “infallible” Francisco Alves chose “Vivo Sonhando” and Mário Reis recorded the remaining song, “Agora é Cinza”, with an arrangement by the great master Pixinguinha, which became a classic, while Alves’ recording did not achieve much success and is rarely remembered by his fans.

It is quite intriguing to delve into the decisions and circumstances that can lead even a celebrated figure like Francisco Alves to miss out on what later became an iconic samba. The complex interplay of personal relationships, artistic choices, and timing in the world of music often yields unexpected outcomes.

This anecdote serves as a poignant reminder of the unpredictable nature of the music industry and the countless variables that can shape the fate of a particular recording. It highlights how even the most skilled and discerning individuals may encounter moments where their judgment falters.

The tale also underscores the intricate interplay of talent, timing, and luck in the world of music, where success and obscurity can hinge on a myriad of factors. The inherent unpredictability and complexity of the music landscape, may turn even the most promising endeavors into unexpected hurdles, while seemingly overlooked creations may rise to acclaim.

Feelings of frustration and disappointment when things do not go as planned are common to all of us. It is especially tough when we invest a lot of time and effort into something and do not see the desired results. It can feel like a wasted opportunity, and we fear that the dreams and ideas that we had may not come to fruition.

It is also easy to fall into the trap of believing that we are the only ones making mistakes, that “others” are always successful. However, it is important to remind ourselves that even the most skilled individuals experience setbacks. This perspective can provide a sense of solace and motivation to keep going, knowing that it’s all part of the journey to success.

It is natural for us to face obstacles and make mistakes along the way. Just like even the most proficient archers miss the target, from time to time.

Be seeing you!

G. F.