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How to describe that moment, right after the third bell, when it’s time to go on stage? Anxiety? Fear? Happiness? Probably each artist will have their own definition. Mine is a mix of all of that, added to some components that I do not know how to define (state of super concentration? heightened senses?), because I do not think about it, I just enjoy feeling it. Not so clear? I know, but it is a kind of trance, and how can you define a trance? Could you? Hu?

The moment a concert starts is magical, spiritual, transcedent, but until it comes… what a hard time! I and you what I am talking about, my friend. I am just coming a awesome concert (great audience, good merch sale, lots of fun on stage etc) , preceeded by a bad night. A really bad couple of nights, to be true.

Why?, you are thinking. What happened? Nothing but a simple cold, caused probably by the very stressful situation of producing a show, as an independent musician. If you know what I mean, you have probably experienced a something similar and will relate to my story.

Twenty-four hours before the concert I texted my musician: “We may have to cancel the gig. I will give you a final word tomorrow at ten”. Six-thirty in th morning I was walking up and down my living room, still unsure about what to do.

My nostrils were finally free (a sine qua non condition for singing, as you know), after a couple of breathing-through-the-mouth nights and that was a great pro to keep the gig, on the con side, I was unsure about the quality of my voz as it was. Furthermore, I was unsure about how long this conditon would last.

Drama enough for you for the morning of gig night?

After talking to my dear friends S. and F., which were kind enough to take their time and talk to me, in order to check how my voice sonded, I decided to keep the gig. And I am sure glad I took this somehow riskful decision.

After all, you have to earn Showtime.

Be seeing you!

G. F.

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Do you need help? Since 2020 this is the kind of question that became almost rhetorical. If you are feeling 100% all right and do not think you need any kind of help (financial, emotional or psychological), chances are you´re in a denial process and yes, you need help to get out of it.

I understand you. We are all humans and we try to defend ourselves in any possible way, it´s our instinct, but as I recently heard from an eminent Brazilian neurobiologist: if you have any common sense, you´re not feeling all right now. It is not the good, old “this world is a mess”. This time it is different. We are all facing something new (though, by the way we handle the planet, we could see it coming) and although optimism and faith are important tools in overcoming the pandemic, they cannot replace a sober, lucid approach to reality.

The only problem about this rational exercise is that reality has been quite bitter for a while now on a level that is hard for us, human beings, to handle. Financially, emotionally and psychologically speaking. With that in mind, it is not difficult to assume that we are all in the need of some sort of extra help. At least so I thought, when I reached out to one of my favourite jazz web radios.

I listen to their channels basically everyday and got pretty used to their catalog and I´ve realized that there was a lot wrong or missing information concerning the names of the songs in Portuguese and many Brazilian interpreters, specially female singers were not credited.

Trying to help, I wrote them this very respectful e-mail, starting by congratulating the team and offering my services as a volunteer to double check the content written in Portuguese. Then I clicked “send” and waited for the answer, with that warm feeling of self-contentment we experiment, when we believe we did something good. If you like happy endings, you might consider stop reading now.

The following day I got an answer (goodie, goodie), but their reaction was kind of disappointing. They claimed they do not have any Portuguese speaker on their team (so I figured and this is precisely why I volunteered in the first place) and, well basically that was it. They also said they would welcome any notice on missing or inaccurate information. Hum… ok, I guess.

Was I upset? A little bit. Can I say they were impolite? Not at all! Did they ask for my help? Nope. Maybe they considered my offer an inconvenience, who knows? Maybe it was just a bad day in the office. After all, as anything in life, offering and getting help is also a matter of timing.

Be seeing you!

G.F.