Every year I go out to buy material to wrap Christmas presents: paper, bags, ribbons. I return home, open the drawer where the remains of what I bought the previous year are, and only then I remember that there were enough leftovers.
In a sort of déjà vu experience, I also remember that last year I had promised myself to check that drawer before buying anything. And the year before that. Some people call it the magic of Christmas. I believe the technical name is Christmas amnesia.
I know that reactions to the end of the year and the holiday season are diverse: some people love it, some people hate it, but the real difficult thing is to remain indifferent to all the turmoil around us. Ever tried? I try every year and fail. Miserably.
The commitments seem to multiply, and they may turn into a source of anxiety and stress, but sometimes they hold a truly “Christmas spirit”. This year, one of them brought me immense joy. My mother had insisted on having a pre-Christmas gathering at her house, so that she could show off the Christmas home decorations created by my sister. Despite the heat wave, it was a very pleasant afternoon.
Among the many subjects discussed and left along the way, one story stood out: we talked about the period of the military dictatorship in Brazil (1964-1984), a dark period that we have not yet overcome. At this point, my mother said that my father, at the time a high-ranking state civil servant, was given the task of denouncing possible opponents to the regime.
There was no way out: if he refused, he would himself be considered an opponent of the system (which at the time meant possible arrest, imprisonment, torture and death or, at best, exile); if he accepted, he would be forced to inform on colleagues. How to get out of this moral impasse?
With pride, my mother recounted the ingenious solution found by my father: in all cases he wrote after the nema of the employee: “to date, nothing has been found to be discreditable about this person”. The task was accomplished and, at the same time, no one was denounced. Including the term “to date” also saved him in case of any future problems.
My father died when I was nine years old, after a two-year long period of degenerative illness. As you can imagine, I did not have much time to hear his stories in person, but knowing that he was an unlikely hero in a period of terror was a great emotion. In fact, it was like being able to hug him again.
I know this is often the season of hoping for the future and exchanging presents, but sometimes the best gift is in the past. Feliz Natal!
Be seeing you!
G.F.